Your film is a portrait of Noah, a young trans person struggling with drug addiction in Hamburg. Can you tell us about how you met them, approached them, and decided to film them?
I met Noah a couple times at the Hamburg central station before I approached him. I was writing my master thesis in the library, which is located across the street of the “Drob Inn”, the biggest drug help centre in the area of the central station. The library is a familiar place for people who live on the street. People go there to rest, charge phones and to be warm in the winter. Besides that many people consume drugs in the corners outside the building. At some point somehow I became obsessed with the area of the central station and went there every day, more or less to write my thesis. I was also looking for a friend who was struggling with heroin addiction and I hadn’t seen him for long. Slowly I began to meet more and more people that were living a life in the cycle of addiction at the central station. Some I got to know a little better and they introduced me to their routines and ways to make money and get by, day by day. I began to understand that people living on the street and struggling with addiction needed to make a lot of money every day. Some of them have to make a couple hundred Euros per day just to not be in pain by withdrawal. In that time I also met Noah. He was asking me for money on the street. He was wearing his cherry gloves and a Punk shirt. After meeting him a couple times I asked him if he wanted to work on a film with me. He gave me his phone number and said I should call him. I tried, but it was the wrong number. By the next time we ran into each other, he had checked out my Instagram and knew that I was a legit filmmaker…, or at least he liked the skate videos that I had uploaded on my channel. This time he gave me the right number. We met up and he asked me why I wanted to make the film, so I told him my story—my connection to the topic of drugs and addiction through early family experiences from my childhood. We kept talking for hours and our conversation naturally switched to music, punk, arts and anime. At that point I knew I wanted the film to be a portrait of him.
As you film them, Noah kids you with a graffiti that “Art must heal”; later on, you give them the camera and they film you for the first time. How did working with Noah redefine your original project as you developed it together?
When Noah showed me the graffiti “Art must heel” it was a huge turning point for me. Noah had been very attentive and considerate. It helped me redefine my responsibility as a filmmaker to distinguish between the socially relevant topic of addiction and the artistic exploration of an individual trauma—while also critically reflecting on my own position in the process. In that very moment it also became a film about our relationship. I knew from the beginning that my art could not heal Noah and should never try. But what role was there for art to play in the film? I decided to include Noah even more to navigate the direction of the film. I bought him a photo camera to let him document the process through his eyes. More and more I concentrated on the things that really define him and make him the wonderful character that he is. He has a passion for punk, music, Asian food, anime, and I am very happy the film gets to show this side of him.
You regularly use still pictures in the film, and towards the film, we realise some of them were taken by Noah. Why did you want this interaction between moving and still images?
Photography was a good way to include Noah into the process of documenting and working on the film together. He mostly took photos of ACAB graffiti though, which I found pretty interesting and decided to conclude in the credits section.
Filmmaking should also be free and fun sometimes. I like to take photos and experiment with all kinds of different images and sounds. I love photography and it sometimes tells better stories than films because it sparks imagination.
La Jetée by Chris Marker is one of the best films ever made and it only combines Photos with sound. I see the cinema screen as a space to be filled and in the editing process I get to play around and experiment freely. I try to collage moving images with other disciplines such as photography or graphic elements to create a certain feeling that I identify with. I want to invite the audience into a visual experience, and in doing so, perhaps raise their awareness of the subject. A razor-sharp depiction of reality leaves little room for imagination and doesn’t necessarily represent truthfulness or demand the viewer’s full attention. I believe film should always strive for something more.
Music is also important rhythmically in the film, and in on scene, Noah listens to what we suppose is your own music. How did you work on the rhythm of the film, and the inclusion of music, during the editing process?
Music is a very important aspect in Noah’s life as it is in mine. Although our music taste is different it was just interesting to talk about it in the film and exchange songs. I feel like there was more hope in the songs that Noah showed to me actually and that’s why I started to appreciate German punk bands much more than I did before. I don’t listen to them, but I love that they really do give kids hope.
When it comes to my personal choices of music that I have used for the film…—I’ve got probably ten handwritten books full of song names and artists that I at some point want to use in my films. It’s mostly unknown artists that I am the biggest fan of. Things just can be so great before they become mainstream. Discovering these songs on a late night session on the internet is just a very fulfilling feeling, that needed to be translated into the film somehow.
Interview by Nathan Letoré
